I'm happy to report that I'm in a much better place than a month ago. All I can say is, life is an all-star pitcher with a wicked curveball!
I wanted to get this one out before Christmas. I know the relevance to its date is short-lived and will likely be read in the coming months, but I was feeling a touch of the season's spirit.
SMALL MIRACLES doesn't break any new ground here, it's just a storyline that invaded my thoughts months ago. I'm trying to get back into my wheelhouse, returning to the belief that (for the most part) people aren't truly bad, they just make bad decisions. Of course, there are exceptions or the LW category would be very boring.
I've read it a few times in other authors' preambles and feel it is a relevant point. It's just a story. It's fiction... and there will be mistakes. I know some folks live to point them out.
I consider this story a mixed bag of tags. However, I will suggest you keep in mind the spirit of a giving season.
Thank you for all the past comments and encouragement. I look forward to giving this a few more tries in 2025.
Cheers,
C_T
********************************************************************************
Small miracles
"You don't truly mean it, do you?"
His hand rested against the curve of my bottom, and I paused, seated on the edge of the couch.
"Yes, Steve. I do. It's for the best."
"The best? For whom?" He persisted.
"Everyone, Steve. You, me, Jerry, Anita." I knew he hated it when I brought his wife's name into a discussion. I heard him huff as I ascended and walked my naked form to his office bathroom.
"Are you worried that Jerry knows?" I knew he would try to keep things going as they had been over the last four months.
I walked into the bathroom, took a cloth, and wiped his cum remnants from the insides of my swollen pussy. "No, he doesn't, but that's not the point." I took another wet cloth and began an overall quick cleanup. A process I had become too familiar with. "We both knew this was a bad idea, Steve. It must end. I don't like the woman I'm becoming; Jerry deserves so much better." I heard him get off the couch and come towards the bathroom. He leaned his naked body against the door frame and looked at me.
"Don't you deserve to be happy, Marie?" If he only knew how stupid that question was. I was happy with my marriage, and I loved Jerry immensely. What I was, however, was foolish. I knew it from the beginning. How did it get so far?
"I get it. He's rich and makes you feel secure, we both know he's lacking where it truly counts." He grabbed his naked oversized package to hit the point home.
"I keep telling you, there's nothing wrong with him down there." I gave him a look of warning.
"So, you say, but the words that come from your lips in the heat of our passion, say otherwise." He pressed.
I finished putting my bra on and stared at him. "People say all kinds of things in those moments, Steve. It spills out in moments of a sexual release; it doesn't mean that everything said is gospel. The only time there's truth to those passionate statements, is when Jerry and I are fucking."
"Thought you said the bedroom has been a dead zone." He snickered.
I have said that. But I also knew the reason. It wasn't Jerry's fault. I had pulled back considerably the last 3 months, mostly due to my guilt. I almost believed that if I wasn't fucking Jerry, then I wouldn't actually be cheating on him. I know... so fucking stupid! This was one of the reasons why I was ending this fling with Steve. I think he took my silence as a sign that I was weakening.
"A happy marriage is more than money and fancy living, Marie." He tried to cozy up to me as I fixed my makeup. "It can start with trouble between the sheets, eventually becoming the elephant in the room." He gently took my empty hand and wrapped it around his significant girth. "Maybe I have what you need to keep your married life tolerable."
His full-court press was starting to anger me. What is it with guys and their fascination with being the bigger cock? Like it was the say all, be all in a successful marriage. Shit... my first husband was even bigger than Steve and where did that get me? Two kids, an abundance of mistresses, and a divorce. That's right. My first husband cheated on me. Cheated like a dog in heat. His defense? Once women found out he was hung like a porn star, they pursued him so hard he finally broke (ten different women that I was aware of, anyway).
I squeezed his growing junk a little harder than he was prepared for, causing him to wince in discomfort. "So, all it takes is a big cock for a happy marriage? Is that the bullshit you're feeding me, Steve? Tell me, how's that working out for Anita?" His face flushed at the mention of his wife again.
"Hey, you're just as shitty of a spouse as I am!" That was his rebuttal. Weak, but accurate.
I didn't want this to escalate any further. I knew breaking it off would be tough because things were so smooth. Working together had given us the natural opportunity and reasonable grounds for spending so much time together in his office. It had only been a half a dozen times, but once was too many. We were extremely cautious and thankfully nobody in the office ever gave us a second glance of suspicion. Even his secretary had no clue. As I slipped my last heel on, I stood in front of naked Steve and tried my best to lower the temperature.
Was the sex better? No, not even close. It was different... exciting in a daring way. The newness of it all as you fumbled towards a fresh experience. I hadn't had many before Jerry, was that why I did this? Some sick twist to catch up on experiences I missed? Was I really that shallow? Whatever the true answer was, I already knew what I was now.
"Steve. Jerry... Anita, they deserve better, and we owe it to them, to be better. This..." I flipped my finger back and forth between us, "shouldn't have happened. I'm as much at fault as you are. I could've said no, but I didn't. I don't think either of us thought it would go any further than that night after the office celebration." I stepped closer and put my hand on his cheek. "I didn't go looking for this and I believe neither did you. It was new, exciting, even dangerous." I turned to put my coat on. "My forever is with Jerry and I'm no longer going to risk the love of a man that has given me so much of himself." I departed for his office door and opened it with no regard for who may be on the other side. Mainly because I knew no one else would be there. It was Christmas Eve after all. "Go home, Steve, and kiss your wife. Merry Christmas."
Three steps were as far as I got before he leaned out of his office, still very naked. "We both know you're going to miss getting hammered by a real cock, Mimi. Come see me when you come to your senses."
His indignation stopped me in my tracks; I turned to face him. "You know, we didn't get together because I knew you had a big cock. I had no idea. Was it a nice surprise? Sure. I know you have a hard time understanding this, but Jerry knows how to take care of me. Nobody knows my body like him. You're not even in his league, Steve. My name is Marie. You don't have the right to use my pet name."
"Really? That's what you tell yourself when you're screaming for more of my big cock? If he's so great in the sack, why were we fucking like rabbits on my office couch?"
I let out a huge sigh. "Honestly? If I knew the answer to that, I wouldn't be here staring at your skinny chicken legs." So childish, I thought, but enough was enough. His outburst made me question why I ever let myself get involved with him in the first place; oh right... alcohol. Like I said earlier... so fucking stupid!
I stepped off the elevator, into the underground parking lot, and headed to my Mercedes SUV. I inwardly chuckled at my shot at Steve's legs. He was skinny all over, nothing like Jerry. Jerry was a semi-pro linebacker years before and he kept that 6'4", 235lb body as solid today as he did back in his 20's. His driver's license said he was 52 but he didn't look a day over 30. The only thing giving away his age was the feathering of grey along his temples. Personally, I loved the look on him.
I exited from the underground parking lot and easily made my way onto the expressway. The trip usually took 40 minutes, but with so little traffic, I hoped to make it closer to 30. I caught myself checking my rearview mirror. I held my own eyes for a moment, internally questioning myself for my poor indiscretions. I could still recall the visceral pain of finding out Peter, my first husband, had cheated on me. The self-doubt was almost crippling as I tried to understand what I did wrong. Why did he feel the need to seek sex outside of our bedroom? With other women? I took a lot of therapy to help me find myself again.
The worst of it was Peter could never give me a reason for his infidelity. He said it wasn't me, but how could that be? "I don't know why," was all he could say to me. How is it, that I now find myself on the other side of that scenario, and suddenly his excuses of - I don't know - made more sense? I shuttered at my pathetic rationale and pushed the guilt deep down with renewed vigor thanks to the awakening I finally had.
I spent 5 years as a single mom of two, scraping by. Not only did my ex have a big dick, but he acted like one as well. He went out of his way trying to avoid his childcare and alimony payments. Twice I had taken him to court for his derelict payments, only to see them fall off a few months later. Our kids barely knew him when we divorced, and that situation only got worse in the following years. I doubt Peter even knows what they look like now. But when I felt like my life would always be a struggle, Jerry entered my world.
We had been acquaintances from years back. He and Peter played football together as young adults. They weren't friends, but teammates and I had come across the big guy more than a few times in our early years. Of course, I had heard about his financial successes. His savvy business investing did very well for him. He eventually became a repo man for failing businesses, buying on the penny but stripping and selling by the dollar. He sold a small software company to a larger competitor for millions, it was many years later that I found out he was also an anonymous benefactor for numerous women's shelters in our state.
Our chance meeting happened at an Olive Garden of all the places. It was a rare night out for me and my daughter Kim (14) and son, Vince (16). As we waited for our table, I saw him walk in by himself. For a man, worth millions, you'd never know by the way he dressed. That evening he was wearing brown khaki shorts with a light blue sweater and open-toed sandals (no socks, thank God!). We made brief eye contact as he put his name down for a table. When the hostess had it, he walked over to say hi.
He was so gracious, even shaking the hands of my children. When our table was called, I wished him a nice evening with his party. I found out he was dining alone, so I invited him to sit with us. By the grace of God, he accepted. I smiled to myself as I drove home, reflecting warmly on how that innocent dinner blossomed into a marriage 16 months later... a real marriage.
The kids took to him in no time, and he invested in them just as easily. From years of scratching to get by, we lived in comfort under a roof full of love. Although he had the means, Jerry didn't spoil us with material things, he was all about opportunities. He opened doors once closed to my (our) children, making them believe they could be successful at anything. When Kim was accepted at Johns Hopkins University to pursue medicine, Jerry made it happen. Likewise, when Vince earned a partial scholarship to MIT in their engineering program, Jerry made it work.
As for me, I earned a paralegal degree and began working for a local firm that Jerry had recommended. He told me I didn't have to work but I needed him to know that I was not a freeloader and wanted to contribute. Three years later I was recruited by a larger firm and that's how I ended up working under Steve. I frowned at the term, working under him. It was factually accurate for the last 4 months.
I shook off my last thoughts like a spider's web. Was it temporary insanity? It must've been. Steve could never hold a candle to the type of man Jerry is. The big, domineering man was a huge teddy bear on the inside unless you found his bad side, or it was about sex. The way he could toss me around our large king-sized bed sent tingles down below. I giggled out loud thinking about the first time we made love. For a big, powerful man he became extremely vulnerable that night.
You see, like I said earlier, Jerry played with Peter and as a result, he had shared enough shower time with the guy to know what he was packing. He humbly told me that he wasn't anywhere near the same down below and if it was a deal breaker, he would understand. The thought had never crossed my mind. This wonderful man could never disappoint me, and I did my best to assure him of that. While we started tentatively, Jerry let his insecurities go and pounded me into oblivion. God... he played my body like a Stradivarius, and he was a world-class violinist! His average-sized equipment took me to heights I never knew possible.
I shivered thinking about his lips and hands; how they knew every erogenous spot on my body. I then shook my head in disgust at how I had removed that aspect of our life via my own guilty conscience. "NEVER AGAIN!" I yelled at myself and focused on getting myself home to rectify my stupidity.
35 minutes later I pulled into our large driveway and parked inside the middle garage. With one last look into my rearview mirror, I made sure I was presentable. Like every other time, the guilt of my act with Steve was working overtime on my guts. "Last time, girl." I whispered out loud. "You'll never feel like this again because you'll never do it again." I mentally patted myself on the back for the new leaf I was about to turn over. Screwing up 4 months of a 10-year marriage wasn't too bad I convinced myself. I'm going to spend the rest of my life making this up to Jerry and be the best wife he deserves.
I stepped from my vehicle and walked through the side door into our very large foyer. Christmas music was playing in the background, along with voices and laughter. I hadn't expected company. Our massive Christmas tree was providing the savory smells of pine, quickly whipping me into the Christmas spirit. I loved this time of year most of all and Jerry never disappointed.
"There she is!" The voice was different but familiar. With my coat off, I turned around and almost fainted.
"MOM? DAD?" What? When... how did they get here?
'There's our girl!" My parents rushed to me and wrapped me in a huge hug. I hadn't seen them in a few years. They moved to Vietnam to spend their retirement years. Yeah, I know... I don't get it either, but they love it. I guess it's become more metropolitan since those war movies. Their dollar stretches so much further there too.
I had tears running down my face. "I can't believe you're here! Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" I couldn't let either of them go.
"That husband of yours was so persistent that he sent us tickets and gave us a stern talking to." My dad laughed. My parents loved Jerry, of course. It was because of him they could stop worrying about me and the kids. They could retire in peace.
I looked for my husband, but he was nowhere to be seen. I walked between my parents into our large living room, arm in arm. Being this close to them at Christmas was a wonderful surprise.
"Hi, Mom." The female voice drew my attention up to the wrap-around hallway. Our massive living space was an open concept, which meant the hallway that traversed three walls was like an internal balcony, intersecting every door of the five bedrooms located upstairs.
My heart was up in my throat, again. "Kimmie?!" I half cried and screamed. I watched my daughter dart down the hall, and down the stairs where I eagerly awaited her. She slammed into me, wrapping each other up in a long overdue hug.
"Merry Christmas, Mommy!" If you have a daughter in her mid-twenties who still refers to you as mommy, you know how swollen my heart was at that moment.
"Kimmie! Oh my God! What are you doing home?" She was currently doing her surgical residency in France as part of a doctor exchange program. It was deemed impossible for her to come back home for the full four years, yet here she was. "How is this possible?" I cried as I squeezed her even tighter.
My parents were laughing and crying at the reunion. It had been years since they'd seen their granddaughter too, although I sensed they had seen each other already tonight. We finally released each other, and I took in the beautiful 5'8" sight that was my grown-up daughter.
"You know when Jerry has his mind set on something..." She started, but I had to hug her again.
"That man..." I whimpered into her ear. We were both crying at this point. I ultimately released her again and took her cheeks in my hands. "God you are so beautiful." My compliment made her giggle. "Speaking of that man. Where is my husband?"
"I think he's in the kitchen. Something about getting the hors d'oeuvres out." My mother explained as I looked around.
While our dining area was part of the open concept, Jerry had the large kitchen separated by some swing doors, as you'd see on a saloon in those old Westerns. I chuckled knowing my husband would never hire a caterer. He loved to cook and who was I to rob him of his enjoyment.
"Why don't you go see him, honey." My dad encouraged me. "He's gone through a lot of trouble for tonight."
I smiled at my dad, understanding just how true that was. I couldn't wait to give him a proper thank you for making this Christmas so special. I gave them all a kiss and made my way to the kitchen through the door, I wished that Vince was here to experience all this. He was in Germany this year with his wife of 18 months, visiting her family this Christmas. While it was sadly noted it didn't mute the excitement my husband brought me this year. I pushed through the swing doors...
"Alright Mr. Wonderful, I..."
"Merry Christmas, Mom."
I honestly thought I was seeing things. Instead of encountering my husband, standing behind the kitchen counter were my son Vince and his wife Peita. Him in a button-down white oxford and her in a beautiful red dress that highlighted her porcelain skin.
So overcome by my emotions, I froze mid-step while both my hands shot over my mouth and nose. Then the tears started. Everything about the night hit me over the head and my emotions took over... I began sobbing.
"Mom! Mom! Are you okay?" Vince ran from behind the counter and enveloped me in his strong arms before I fell over. He shushed me, carefully guiding me to a seat around our breakfast nook. "Mom, it's okay." His voice finally penetrated my emotional overload. When I opened my eyes, he was sitting right in front of me with his big handsome grin. My eyes darted up to Peita, who was standing behind him, tears falling from her eyes too.
"Oh Vince!" I hugged him like a python.
"Easy Mom, you're going to break a rib." He teased me and it was my turn to shush him. I reached out behind and drew his wife into my hug as well.
"I... I thought you were in Germany?" I asked when I finally released them. "Isn't it your year to visit with Peita's parents?"
"That was the plan." He looked back at his wife. "But you know Jerry, when he gets an idea..." They both smirked.
I looked up at my daughter-in-law. "I'm sorry you won't be seeing your parents this year Peita. I'm sure they are disappointed you won't be visiting."
No comments:
Post a Comment